16 Jokes About Secretary of the Treasury Steve Mnuchin

By J. Marglous '21

  1. Steve Mnuchin always looks a little uncomfortable, like he stepped in gum or accidentally smelled a poor person.

  2. Steve Mnuchin changed his job title to Executive Assistant of the Treasury, because he thinks it’ll look better when he returns to the private sector.

  3. Steve Mnuchin is a micromanager, which means that every night he criticises his assistant while she pours the bags of gold coins into his money tub.

  4. In Home Alone, Steve Mnuchin thought the robbers were just better than Macaulay Caulkin at finding value in the market.

  5. In Dunkirk, Steve Mnuchin thought there were fine people on both sides.

  6. in Marley and Me, Steve Mnuchin rooted for the vet.

  7. If Steve Mnuchin had a dollar for each home OneWest, his predatory mortgage company, foreclosed on, he’d have at least $36,000.

  8. In 2015, Steve Mnuchin sold OneWest, his predatory mortgage company, for $3.4 billion.

  9. Steve Mnuchin can only eat three things: endangered animals, children’s tears, and polenta.

  10. Steve Mnuchin probably puts Sacagawea dollars in his penny loafers.

  11. If Steve Mnuchin had a dollar for every worker he laid off as the hedge fund he ran with his Yale roommate bankrupted Sears, he’d have hundreds of thousands of dollars.

  12. Steve Mnuchin’s current net worth is hundreds of millions of dollars.

  13. Knock knock. Who’s there? One West Bank. One West Bank who? One West Bank is foreclosing on your home, you need to leave now.

  14. If you think too hard about the role of cronyism and corruption in U.S. economic policy, you may be tempted to move to a cabin in the woods. However, if you do so, I urge you not to take a mortgage with OneWest bank.

  15. AAAAAARRRRFGGHHHGHG!!! (Ed. note: this seems like more of a primal scream.)

  16. “My new chin?” No, it’s original!

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