Resurrected! This is the cry heard round Brown’s campus, as students respond with shock and awe at the reappearance of peers they had long considered banished from the world of the living. We managed to track down some of these restless spirits and the Brown students whose lives they very, very, very briefly touched during their time on Earth. Read on for some spooky, sobering tales of activated afterlife at Brown.
Juniors Shannon and John were just two lost — albeit very much alive — souls when they found each other on the dance floor this Halloweekend. After reaching out to Shannon the morning after their dance floor makeout, John heard nothing but for a few text bubbles that vanished as quickly as they had come. Obviously, Shannon had been bru- tally murdered in the midst of accepting his offer of “crepes and chill.”
Until that night, John’s only taste of mortality had been the death of his pet fish in the second grade. With Shannon gone, John could not simply flush the toilet and move on. When Shannon was spotted at the Brown book- store in November, John jumped at the opportunity to speak to his lost soulmate one last time. Unfortunately, John’s smile and “what’s up” was met with a curt nod and insistent query to the cashier about “where the mechanical pencils could be found.” After repeating this question and avoiding eye contact for five straight minutes, Shannon disappeared back into the hellhole from whence she had temporarily sprung (according to John, at least.)
When Tim spotted Dan, he could hardly believe his eyes. The boy who had consistently snapped him for three weeks and then left him on read had to have been strangled to death in the middle of sending one of his signature “ironic mirror pose” selfies. Tim continued to maintain that Dan was in “a better place” despite comments from his friends that Dan was actually in a much worse place, so deep into his acid habit that he could no longer muster the energy to continue using Tim. Tim continued to wear mourning black anyway.
The details of this resurrection are a bit funky. Tim admits that he was the under the influence of “some things” when he spotted Dan in the corner of a Williams Street base- ment, allegedly trying out his dead lips on a living, breathing person who was not Tim. Regardless, Tim insists that this vision was no trick of the mind, and Dan’s ghost was indeed present that night. Dan may be dead to Tim now, but it ap- pears that he is living his life to the fullest among the rest of Brown’s campus.
At the end of last semester, sophomores Isabella and Francis spent a passionate night together before their History of Pirates final. After packing Francis’ suitcases for home, reminiscing about broken exit signs, and shittalking their tight-ass RPL one last time, Francis asked if Isabella if she knew how pretty she was. It turns out that Isabella did not, and so they shared a kiss so underwhelming it was interrupted by the young woman’s yawning. That was the last time Francis ever saw Isabella.
Or so he thought! Yet another resurrection was recorded on Brown’s campus, this time in the rather unlikely spot of Jo’s at 5:55 p.m. Isabella had arrived early to beat the quesadilla line, while Francis seeked to secure his position in the chopped-salad queue. When questioned about how she managed to defeat Hades, hack her way out of the under- world, and return to Providence, Isabella feigned confusion. Apparently, she had simply gone home to Connecticut over the summer and decided that reaching out to Francis in the fall was “not worth it.” Another ghost, another resurrection, another brief reconciliation.
Thea had not been the same since Liam left her life. For three blissful weeks in September, the pair had spent almost all of their time together. But Thea knew for a fact that Liam suffered from an aggressive, potentially fatal peanut allergy and she herself occasionally snacked on peanut butter. The allergy was so serious that Liam could not respond to any of Thea’s fifty messages, as just the thought of her potentially sticky fingers hitting the keyboard was enough to induce life-threatening hives.
So you can imagine Thea’s surprise when Liam was spotted demanding peanut butter for his sesame bagel at the Blue Room Friday morning. Approaching her ghostly be- loved, Thea did not know quite what to say. Lucky for her, Liam raised a translucent hand to her lips and the couple em- braced without even speaking a word. We are proud to report that Liam and Thea are the first ghost-human couple at our university.
Remember, miracles really do happen at Brown!