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Study Titles Pending Departmental Review

By O. Rousseau '21

You Can Dance, You Can Jive, Halving the Time of Your Life: Sobering Evidence from Liver Damage Testing in 18-25 Populations (Review)

All Night Wrong: Choosing To Go Out Tonight and Living a Life of Debauchery, a Longitudinal Study of Not Understanding the Consequences of Your Actions

Do You Remember the 21st Night of September? No. Permanent Neurological Impediments in Young Adults Suffering From Alcohol Abuse

Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Stayin’ Alive and Reading a Good Book: Safety of Mind and Body in the 21st Century

Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots!... Everybody? Comprehensive Study on Social Exclusion and Why I Wasn’t Invited

Girls Just Want to Have Fun: Or Is That Too Much to Ask?

Heart of Glass Ice: Etude on Being a Dogshit Roommate and Not Acknowledging the Pain You Cause Others

A Little Party Never Killed Nobody: But I Wish It Did and No, I Don’t Feel Bad For Saying That

Red Solo: Yup. That’s Right. All Alone. Ha. Ha. Ha. Isn’t it So Funny? (Conclusive Evidence That In Fact No It Is Not)

Sorry For Party Rocking: A Study of Half-Assed Apologies Made at 2AM That Didn't Feel Very Genuine at All and That I Categorically Refuse to Accept, Dave

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By J. Kaiserman '23 Dear students, As you may know, Professor Schwann resigned from the University this morning. I realize that this sudden announcement may come as a surprise. Professor Schwann was a

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