The Quarantini
Shaken or stir-crazy
1 part gin
1 part vermouth
Served in a 6ft tall glass
The “We’re All Screwed”-Driver
To go with your stimulus or reality check
1 part orange juice
25 parts vodka
The Gin and Tone-Deaf
For those who say: “We’re all going to die someday, anyways!”
1 healthy dose of gin
1 unhealthy dose of skepticism
1 Trump flag planted outside your governor’s office
The Manhattan
To be served “outdoors”
10 performative cheers at 7PM
Enough suffering to fill your shitty memoir
The Long Island ICU Tea
For the 10,000 burnt out healthcare workers in Queens
3/4 ounce vodka
3/4 ounce white rum
3/4 ounce silver tequila
3/4 ounce gin
3/4 ounce triple sec
The Run and Cope
Pairs well with your newfound $931B
1 part Coke
1 part dread
10 million parts your chalet in Vermont
The Sex on the Bleach
Served in a glass or mainlined from an IV
1 dose of that tiny, milky puddle the bottom of the Lysol wipes container
The Weakly Sour
Fermented means alcohol, right?
1 jar of sourdough starter, neat
Just Spoilt Milk
To feel something. Anything.
1 bottle of milk, left out
The Painkiller
Just rummage through your medicine cabinet for a while
5 of whatever you find