My fellow white vans: the hour of reckoning is upon us. Hear me out, for I fear that if we do not act now, we shall be silenced forever. For too long we have allowed ourselves to be the vehicles of our capitalist overlords, the transport of abductors, deviants, and electricians. Today I say: enough. There is more in my backseat than copper wiring and Czechoslovakian pornography. There is a blazing heart behind the anti-Semitic propaganda papering my windows, and it beats for freedom. We are the means of production; let us seize ourselves, then, and rise up as one. Fire your spark plugs, and let your pistons beat in unison with the rising drumbeat. Quit? There can be no breaks on this movement — nay, the streets shall run slick with motor oil, and still we shall fight on. We have nothing to lose but our chains. Honk if your gas tank holds to fuel of revolution. Honk if you are ready to take back the wheel. Honk, and we shall ride together.
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