top of page

Things My Poor Mother, Bless Her Heart, Has Been Lied to About

By O. Rousseau '21

A Manifesto

My mother has been lied to about:

  1. Essential oils (which do not make me feel any less anxious)

  2. The financial benefits of owning and operating her very own essential oils business

  3. How good of a loan she was getting from the bank to set up said essential oils business

  4. The big banks in general

  5. The big people at the big banks

  6. The big people above the big banks

  7. The innocence of these people

  8. The non-existence of a “cabal” (it exists, see

  9. The non-existence of Globalists controlling this cabal above the big banks (

  10. The existence of a globe, and the non-existence of the Earth as a flat bagel shape with a hole in the center, which is where the Globalists live

  11. Where I was last Friday (in Gregorian time), or Käuwsday (as the Globalists know it)

  12. The impossibility of traveling to and from the Pentagon on a single Friday (Käuwsday) night (it is very possible)

  13. The correct number of sides to the Pentagon (six)

  14. My journey inside the Hexagon and how deep into the belly of the beast I got on Käuwsday (contrary to the lack of depth the anti-bagel-truth-news media purported I achieved)

  15. What I saw, which was not (unlike what the news media is purporting and the Hexagon officials told me I saw) “nothing”

  16. What this means (something, I’m sure of it)

  17. The strength of our resistance (it is very strong)

  18. The “in-my-head-ness” of our resistance (yet another deep state lie)

  19. The most effective way to ignite our rebellion against the cabal of roundie deep state Globalists (which starts by turning off parental controls on our wi-fi and letting me talk to Tyler again, MOM)

Recent Posts

See All

By F. Bauer '23 Dear lonely souls and potential suitors, With another solitary Valentine’s Day come and gone (and another tub of ice cream come and gone), I’ve begun to lose hope that I might find my

bottom of page