Unsupported Answers to Ten Eternal Questions

J. Marglous '21

Q: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

A: The chicken.

Q: A rock or a hard place?

A: A rock.

Q: If I go back in time and kill my grandmother, will I still exist?

A: No.

Q: Why are we here?

A: Out-of-control simulation.

Q: Four people are tied to a track with a trolley fast approaching. You can pull a lever to redirect the trolly onto another path and kill one person instead. Should you do it?

A: Yes. Levers are fun.

Q: Why did I get a philosophy degree?

A: You thought you could impress girls by mentioning Nietzsche, then by the end of Junior year you realized it was too late to complete the requirements for anything else.

Q: Can God make a rock too heavy for him to lift? A: No. Q: Do my parents love my brother more?

A: Yes.

Q: Six or one half-dozen?

A: Six.

Q: Would my cat eat me if she could?

A: Yes.

Q: How do you end a list?

A: Try a meta-joke.

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