Q: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
A: The chicken.
Q: A rock or a hard place?
A: A rock.
Q: If I go back in time and kill my grandmother, will I still exist?
A: No.
Q: Why are we here?
A: Out-of-control simulation.
Q: Four people are tied to a track with a trolley fast approaching. You can pull a lever to redirect the trolly onto another path and kill one person instead. Should you do it?
A: Yes. Levers are fun.
Q: Why did I get a philosophy degree?
A: You thought you could impress girls by mentioning Nietzsche, then by the end of Junior year you realized it was too late to complete the requirements for anything else.
Q: Can God make a rock too heavy for him to lift? A: No. Q: Do my parents love my brother more?
A: Yes.
Q: Six or one half-dozen?
A: Six.
Q: Would my cat eat me if she could?
A: Yes.
Q: How do you end a list?
A: Try a meta-joke.