1. You get to tell people you are reading Finnegan’s Wake.
2. No hangover. If this goes wrong, you can always power through by reading Dubliners.
3. After reading Finnegans Wake, you can drive or operate as much heavy machinery as you
want.
4. It’s rumored once you finish the book, Jeffrey Eugenides will appear in Joyce cosplay and
give you a fist bump.
5. When the punch has been spiked with Finnegan’s Wake, everyone knows.
6. The buzz lasts several decades longer.
7. College is a time for experimentation. And what is more experimental than James Joyce?
8. It tastes better.
9. You get to tell people you are reading Finnegan’s Wake.