The Archive

Here, you can find (almost) all of our published pieces, cartoons, and art from past issues and issues to come sorted by issue and by author. Enjoy! 

A Eulogy

By D. Herrnstadt '24 We gather here today to mourn the passing of God. When He died quietly in a sleep-like state last Thursday, and the...

Urgent Update From CHEM0100

By J. Kaiserman '23 Dear students, As you may know, Professor Schwann resigned from the University this morning. I realize that this...

What I'm Looking for in a Boyfriend

By F. Bauer '23 Dear lonely souls and potential suitors, With another solitary Valentine’s Day come and gone (and another tub of ice...

Modern Feminism

By D. Herrnstadt '24 Raising a Strong Young Woman in the 21st century is the hardest, most rewarding job in the world. I’m a single...

The Squid Called Olivia

By J. Kaiserman '23 The following is a portion of the court stenographer’s report in the murder trial of Dr. James P. Clarke, M.D.: —...

Dear Reader

By J. Marglous '21 Dear Reader, It is with heavy hearts that we inform you of the passing of one of our longtime contributors, Benjamin...

Catfishing Shakespeare

By J. Kaiserman '23 Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Though ‘neath these blaring notes and flashing bulbs My pen writes air. Thy...

Meet My Camper, Philip Roth

By D. Rebman '22 In the dry, American summer of 1946 I worked as a summer camp counselor in Newark, New Jersey. My little place of work...