B. Bienstock '20 I try to be the best father I can be. I want the best for my two kids, [redacted] and [redacted] , but even the Dad of...
J. Marglous '21 My fellow white vans: the hour of reckoning is upon us. Hear me out, for I fear that if we do not act now, we shall be...
L. King '21 “Okay, so this is what I understood. You’re calling because you’re dissatisfied - I’m sor- ry, yes, ‘outraged’- with the...
J. Marglous '21 1. Just say yes! It’s important to build connections you can use later in your career, so demonstrate that you’re...
J. Marglous '21 Push pins: For when you want to put something on a bulletin board. Pull pins: For when you want to take something off a...
S. Zylberfuden '22 We all wonder to ourselves: I don’t think I’m ugly... but... do other people think I’m ugly? Now, if you’re not one to...
B. Doyle '21 Dear beloved families of Hot Teens, We regret to inform you that Hot Teen Stacy, Hot Teen Brett, and Hot Teen Emma passed...
O. Rousseau '21 Hi Mary! BIG fan of your column. I’m a mom of three from California and with the drought kicking me and the old dust...
M. Warshay '20 The following is a leaked memo from the office of Tom Hanks. It was slipped under Oprah Winfrey’s front door in the days...
D. Rebman '22 1. Minecraft An oldie, but a goodie. Lauded for its free and immersive gameplay, Minecraft allows the player to dig their...
N. Ostrer '21 We’ve all been there before. You wake up with a pounding headache and a dry feeling in the back of your throat. It’s a...
V. Senthil Nathan '20.5 1. You get to tell people you are reading Finnegan’s Wake. 2. No hangover. If this goes wrong, you can always...
You Friend Danny Hi there, consumer! It’s Danny! From the Make a Wish Foundation! Aren’t chores just a bitch? We the good people at Make...
